


forget the inner me, observe the outer

by Cinaed



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Jossed, M/M, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2017-03-18
Packaged: 2018-10-07 08:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10356246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cinaed/pseuds/Cinaed
Summary: After the events of The Suffering Game arc, Kravitz and Taako finally have a moment to catch up.Taako discusses the importance of his brand. Kravitz gets a little handsy.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably going to immediately get jossed this Thursday, but I can't bring myself to care. Hope you all enjoy this fic! Warning for spoilers for The Suffering Game and Lunar Interlude V.
> 
>  **ETA:** This was hella jossed, as I suspected, but I can't even be mad because that was a perfect scene. Bless The Adventure Zone and enjoy this non-canon fic.

"Well," Kravitz said from where he was seated on the bed, "now that we have a moment, are you going to tell me about that disguise self spell you've been using?"  
  
Taako froze in the middle of taking off his hat. He almost touched his face, but he knew that wouldn’t tell him if he’d somehow missed the spell fading. It was only an illusion, after all. A half-dozen responses came and went unsaid, swallowed back before he could tell Kravitz a lie. He was tired of lying and being lied to after everything that had gone down with the Bureau of Balance. And Kravitz had always provoked a painfully instinctual honesty in him.

In the end he flashed Kravitz a patented Sizzle It Up With Taako grin and said, "You can't expect a wizard to reveal _all_ his secrets, darling."  
  
Kravitz watched him steadily. He already looked tired and worn around the edges-- escaping from one plane to another when you’ve been cut off from your goddess would do that to a person -- but now worry crept into his handsome expression.  
  
Maybe it shouldn’t have, but the concern took Taako by surprise. He turned his hat over in his hands once, then twice, stalling all the while. By the third time he’d twirled his hat, Kravitz stood.

“Taako.” Now Kravitz sounded agitated. His face half-gleamed in the light, his dark skin caught midway in its transition to smooth white bone. A second later he had control again, but the worry remained. He took a step forward. “What happened?”

“Look,” Taako said. He stopped. An explanation slipped out of reach like Magnus’s soul had almost escaped his grasp. “The last time we saw each other, I was a little busy saving Magnus, you were a little busy half-drowning. We didn’t really have a chance to chat and catch up.” He tried to keep going, but his throat tightened at the memory of the oil closing over Kravitz. The helplessness still hurt, even though Kravitz had gotten through it unscathed.

“Taako,” Kravitz said again, more softly. He’d stepped a little closer without Taako noticing. They were face to face now, close enough that Taako could see every trembling shift between bone and flesh as Kravitz struggled to keep control. “ _What happened_?”

The words tumbled out haphazardly without any of Taako’s usual smoothness.

“We were in Wonderland getting the Animus Bell. Maybe you’ve heard of the place? I bet you have. There’s no freaking way that the Raven Queen would be fond of liches….”

“No, she isn’t,” Kravitz said, and for a few seconds his head was completely a skull. There was a flicker as his scythe came and went in his hand and his eyes glowed a dangerous red. “We knew about Wonderland, but none of the Raven Queen’s servants could enter. It was invite-only and, well, we weren’t exactly welcome. What did they do to you?”

Taako attempted a light tone as dark skin knitted itself together over white bone and showed Kravitz’s concerned look again. “First off, darling, don’t worry. I killed whatever his name was, and, if you want to get technical, I killed his sister too. I was definitely the MVP in Wonderland! So no worries on _that_ score.” The satisfaction at that memory was fleeting when he remembered everything that he, Magnus, and Merle had given up, but he fixed his smile firmly in place. “But, well, we had to sacrifice a few things before that….”

Kravitz started to reach towards him and stopped a hair’s breadth before he could touch Taako’s cheek. He dropped his hand to his side. “Show me?”

It was a request. Taako could say no. He _wanted_ to say no. Everything in him rebelled against Kravitz seeing his new appearance. But keeping up the disguise self spell 24/7 wasn’t exactly doable in the long run, and he wanted to get rid of the worry in Kravitz’s eyes.

He sighed. “If you insist.”

Taako wasn’t certain how he’d expected Kravitz to react when he dropped the spell. Pitying, maybe, or shocked, or even angry on his behalf that he’d lost his ethereal beauty. He hadn’t expected Kravitz to look relieved or to sigh out a fervent, “Thank the goddess.”

Taako bristled. “Thank _who_? Look at me!” He almost hit himself in the eye with his hat as he waved both hands towards his ordinary face. Embarrassment made him even angrier. He tossed the hat towards the bed. Then he crossed his arms and eyed the door, wondering if it was worth it to don the disguise self spell again and flounce out.

Before he could move, Kravitz pressed closer. Taako froze, startled into stillness, as Kravitz’s hands cradled his face. Goosebumps rose on his neck at the chilly touch, and he was torn between the urge to lean in and pull away.  

“Taako,” Kravitz said. He was still smiling. “From the way you were talking, I thought you were hiding scars. Or that you’d lost an eye like Merle.” His thumbs stroked lightly over Taako’s eyebrows and cheeks, down his nose and across his lips.

Taako’s shiver at the gentle touch wasn’t entirely from the clamminess of Kravitz’s hands. He felt...strange, for the lack of a better description, both by the unexpected caresses and the warm look in Kravitz’s eyes. He was usually pretty in touch with his emotions, but he couldn’t unravel the feelings all tangled up in his chest. He licked his lips. For a second he was tempted to tease Kravitz about being a handsy sort of guy, but the whole touching thing was pretty nice. Still, the warmth in Kravitz’s eyes was too much.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Kravitz’s thumbs stilled. “Like what?”

“Like I’m still the prettiest one in this relationship,” Taako said. Halfway through the sentence he realized what he was admitting. He finished it on a laugh, like he’d been joking, but Kravitz didn’t fall for it, his brow creasing as he frowned.

“Taako,” he said slowly, still frowning, “do you think I’m only interested in you because of your looks?”

“No?” Taako said, but his mouth betrayed him and turned it into a question. He shook his head hard enough that Kravitz’s hands dropped to his shoulders. He avoided Kravitz’s eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do, and I appreciate it, I really do, but don’t feed me a line about my amazing freaking personality, okay?”

Kravitz squeezed his arms gently and released him. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were calling me shallow.”

That made Taako look at him, trying to gauge if he was teasing or actually offended. Kravitz’s expression gave nothing away. “Nah, man, that’s not what I meant. It’s just that you know there’s no such thing as love at first sight, right? Everyone’s drawn in by looks first, personality second.” He paused, reconsidering. “Maybe even fashion second, personality third.”

He’d learned that lesson young. He hadn’t had anything to offer the traveling performers when he was twelve, just some rudimentary cooking skills and his perfect elven looks. He remembered Daraga patting his cheek that first day and telling him that she might let him tag along if his pretty face sold more circus tickets. If he hadn’t been beautiful, he would have starved on the streets that first year.

Taako shook his head again, banishing the memory. “Like, I’m not going to lie, when _we_ met--”

“Taako, may I stop you there?”

“Well, sure,” Taako said, a little relieved. He had a feeling saying that he’d been drawn in by Kravitz’s handsome features first wouldn’t have gone down very well, even if Taako had quickly fallen for everything else about Kravitz, including his cold hands.

Kravitz looked at him for a long moment. “Look,” he said. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but I’ve been in the Raven Queen’s service for a long time. A _very_ long time. And I’ve met a lot of people. Not like _that_ , but well. After a while most mortals tend to blend together, and I was never really interested in, ah, a relationship that was going to end in what felt like a few days to me. But--”

Here Kravitz paused and chuckled, the same fond sound he’d made when Taako had rebelled against making a vase. “But then I met you. And, ah, let’s say you made a strong first impression with that black tentacles spell. And then you flirted with me even after I’d shown you my work face, which uh I’ve got to say was unexpected since I was trying to kill you at the time. People have tried seducing me to spare their lives from time to time but you...well, you were different. And a very pleasant surprise.”

Taako had meant what he’d said to Magnus and Merle about not trusting anyone. At least he’d meant it at the time, because it was hard not to believe the sincerity in Kravitz’s voice and the affection in his eyes. He shrugged, but for the first time since Kravitz had asked about the disguise self spell, his smile felt genuine. “Well, what can I say? My type is definitely handsome men who are passionate about their jobs.” He was rewarded with another of Kravitz’s chuckles.

Kravitz touched Taako’s cheek again, the chilled touch brief this time. “You were and are beautiful, Taako, but more importantly, you’re _interesting_. That’s what made me seek you out alone at the Bureau of Balance when I technically should’ve spoken to you and your friends together, and why I, well, agreed to meet you at the Chug ‘N Squeeze for what turned into our first date.”

Then Kravitz paused. Taako watched, fascinated, as his face did several things at once. Kravitz ran a hand over his hair, his face a little flushed. “Our...only date so far? I, ah, well, you did call this a relationship earlier, so I don’t think I’m being presumptuous when I…. Well….”

Taako was still upset about the loss of his ethereal perfection, but if he could fluster Kravitz this much without the disguise self spell, he thought that maybe he could be satisfied with being merely beautiful. He grinned. “My dude, if that is your roundabout way of asking me on another date now that the world isn’t ending, I’m down for it. Are you a fan of unlimited pasta?”

“Yes,” Kravitz said. “Er, about both the date and the pasta.”

“Cool,” Taako said. It felt easier to breathe, somehow, as though he’d been choking and hadn’t realized it. He sidled closer, grabbing one of Kravitz’s hands and squeezing it. He waggled his eyebrows with another grin. “I just so happen to have an unlimited pasta pass for Olive Garden.”

Kravitz smiled slowly. “Well, the last time I was at an Olive Garden it was because the chef was turning customers into zombies, but I feel like that’s something unlikely to happen twice. And the food was otherwise delicious.”

“Sounds like a date,” Taako said. Then he considered the past few weeks and how they’d just dodged the end of all life as they knew it. “Hey, is your birdy babe going to call you in for a bounty any time soon?”

“...Please never call the Raven Queen that again.”

Taako cocked his head, studying Kravitz’s faintly horrified expression. “What, goddesses don’t have a sense of humor? Istus seemed chill when I met her.” He remembered the threatening clip of a thread and amended, “Er, pretty chill.”

“Well, actually, the Raven Queen does have an interesting sense of humor, just, uh. Not about herself, I suppose? Her jests are generally rather morbid, no pun intended.”

“Oh come on, pun definitely intended there,” Taako declared. Kravitz shook his head, but amusement gleamed in his eyes. “But anyhoo, think you’d be available for a date, like, right now? The world almost ended, so I gotta think people might just be chilling.”

Kravitz smiled widely. “I can’t promise we won’t be interrupted, but I’d really like to go to Olive Garden with you.”

“Awesome! Just let me change.” Taako drew back from Kravitz and then sauntered over to his wardrobe. He threw it open and studied his assorted clothing. “Hm, what says an Olive Garden date?”

“Oh my,” Kravitz said from close behind him. He sounded dazed. “That is...a fuckton of clothing.”

Taako laughed. “Of course it is. I am the freaking height of fashion, hombre.” He pulled out a bright purple leather jacket with small black stones spelling out his name, studied it for a moment, and then put it back. “Plus most people don’t rock the same outfit for centuries like some dudes I know.”

Kravitz didn’t say anything. Taako turned, a neon orange frilly shirt in hand, and spotted Kravitz’s self-conscious look as he ran a hand down the front of his suit.

“I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love your look, you’re totally rocking it,” Taako added. He followed this up with a wink, which seemed to reassure Kravitz a little. “But I like a little variety in what me, myself, and I are wearing, you dig?”

“Yes.”

Finally Taako had assembled the perfect outfit: baggy orange and black pants, orange platform boots, a thin orange top, and a heavy cardigan of rainbow-colored threads. He paused to admire the look in his body-length mirror, setting his hat on his head and testing it out with a twirl.

He didn’t look too closely at his face, but it wasn’t quite as awful to see his reflection now. “Almost perfect,” he said with satisfaction. Then he cast disguise self, leaving his clothing untouched but putting on his old face and turning his hat a spring bud green shade to complement the ensemble. “All right, now I am hella ready to chow down on some pasta.”

When he turned, however, Kravitz was frowning. “Taako….” Concern creased his brow again.

Taako was torn between exasperation and heart-stopping fondness. “Oh hell no,” he said loudly, waving his hands around. “Let me stop you right there. You’re going to say I was perfect before or some other cheesy shit, right?” At Kravitz’s flustered expression, he laughed. “Yeah, I thought so. Look, Krav, this is about people who aren’t you being shallow. I need to maintain my brand. This is the face that people recognize as Taako from Sizzle It Up, so yeah, if we’re out in public, I’m going to use disguise self.”  

Kravitz gave him a searching look, but apparently Taako being like ninety-five percent sincere helped him out, because the concern eased and Kravitz smiled. “I can understand that.” For a second his skin melted away and his skull face grinned toothlessly as he said with one of his work accents, “Brand is very important.”

Taako laughed. “I’m glad you get it, my dude.”

A scythe appeared in Kravitz’s hand and he cut a portal in front of them. Then the scythe vanished and Kravitz extended his arm, back to his handsome human form. “Hold on to me. The first time through the portal can be a little unsettling.” Kravitz looked suddenly doubtful. “In fact, if you’d prefer, we could--”

“Nah, you’ve got me,” Taako said easily, looping his arm in Kravitz’s. For a second they just leaned against each other. “Now let’s go eat so much fucking pasta that we close the place down.”

“I suspect they’d kick us out before that happened,” Kravitz said, amused.

“You forget the power of unlimited pasta pass, hombre.”

“Oh, of course,” Kravitz said. He was still chuckling when Taako pulled him into the portal.

**Author's Note:**

> I used Finnish designers Siiri Raasakka, Tiia Siren and Elina Laitenen's [outfit](http://wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/rave-review-5881536/%20) for Taako's fabulous high fashion look at the end of the story. 
> 
> The title comes from Aida's [My Strongest Suit](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0bYHwRXp0s), because whenever Taako discusses fashion I start humming "I would rather wear a barrel than conservative apparel " to myself. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic! 
> 
> I'm thinking of doing a follow-up story that's just a series of Taako and Kravitz's semi-disastrous dates, including their trip to Olive Garden, so if you have any ideas, let me know here or at my [tumblr](http://cinaed.tumblr.com/).


End file.
